Consider this: The world has tried to sell its way as the best way since the fall of man. Television and movies sell a way of life that is cheap, harsh, and selfish. Sex is glorified and permissible with anyone at any time. Deception is the norm. Winning is everything. Using others to gain an advantage is the way to succeed. Such are the patterns of this world. But those who know God find an entirely new way of viewing the world. Paul calls it transformative thinking—the transformation that comes from renewing your mind.

Think of the conflicts that two different personalities, like yours and your spouse’s, have to work through when they live under the same roof. God uses these conflicts to test the leanings of our hearts, to determine if what we do is consistent with what we say and what we believe. It has been said, “Marriage forces you to live out what you say you believe about God.” It’s easy to see the negative impact careless words and thoughtless actions have on our loved ones in the home, especially on our spouses. The world encourages us to be independent—to take care of our own needs first. In God’s economy, however, we are designed for interdependence. The Holy Spirit helps us to consider meeting the needs of others rather than being self-focused. We then can become part of the solution to the conflict, allowing God’s love and power to flow through us like fresh water to the one we love. Developing a close, caring friendship with your spouse increases marital satisfaction because friends enjoy loving one another.

Discuss: Why do you think so many couples tend to rely on their own thought processes, when God has promised to give us wisdom when we ask in faith?

What we think about when we are free to think about what we will—that is what we are or will soon become.
A. W. TOZER (1897–1963)

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