Consider this: Can you remember your dating days? Remember how your focus was not on yourself, but rather on how you could please that “special person.” You didn’t consider your efforts as self-sacrifice or self-denial because you wanted with all your heart to meet the needs of the one you were “in love” with. A good marriage requires this same attitude of self-sacrifice and self-denial if you are to be a team that honors God. Like in dating or courting, the rewards of a happy marriage far exceed the effort involved.

This model of marriage is similar to your walk with God. In both situations, it is dying to self that becomes the biggest struggle. We cannot train ourselves to be Christians or bend ourselves to the will of God. As Oswald Chambers put it, “We have to be broken to the will of God.” Likewise, we need to be broken before our spouse, willing to serve his or her needs, reflecting the Spirit of Christ in us.

Some of the deepest trials married couples go through lead to the greatest blessings when they yield their rights to God. He is faithful! In times of conflict, apprehension, or fear, you can find comfort and confidence in God’s sovereignty over your marriage.

Discuss: As long as you tolerate dwelling on mistakes, you cannot expect to meet each other's need for positive communication. Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

Pause here and remember that in God’s economy there is no such thing as failure in the lives of those who are consumed by His will. Therefore, we can confidently pray, “Father, not my will, but Yours be done.”

As sure as ever God puts his children in the furnace, he will be in the furnace with them.
CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON (1834–1892)

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