God planned marriage to be a permanent relationship. Therefore, the couple must cling to one another. Each spouse promises to remain faithful, regardless of problems which will inevitably arise. Remaining close throughout the years is a matter of deliberate choice. Life can become an unending fast track because of activities, pressures, and responsibilities. Keeping a marriage intact can become quite a challenge. To rise to the challenge and develop a satisfying, lasting relationship, a couple needs time together and time with God.
Couples often spend a great deal of time growing and developing in order to be successful in their careers or even in their favorite hobbies. Yet, they often neglect time with God. Investing in these times, however, results in the ability to sustain the relationship through the storms of life. When a couple prioritizes time in God's Word and prayer, their marriage is greatly strengthened and a special bond of intimacy develops. Since God created marriage, He will give guidance and favor as a couple grows together in Him.

Sometimes there is a need to pause and spend time together as a couple. Our world of fast-moving technology, non-stop entertainment, and driven schedules continually vies for our attention. It becomes easy to develop bad habits of sitting in front of the television or the computer. Being a workaholic and keeping too busy for one another will adversely affect the marriage relationship. The first step toward help, harmony, and healing is to admit that this is a problem and decide to immediately turn it around.
When closeness is lost, a relationship crumbles. Keeping your love relationship alive through planned time together sparks healthy communication and helps develop this closeness. One way to do this is by continuing to date. An enjoyable dating experience is the catalyst that launched most couples into marriage originally. Yet, many easily allow life's circumstances to get in the way of this part of their relationship which promotes vitality, fun, interest and above all, oneness. Such times of relaxation and having fun as a twosome can be planned if a couple sees their importance. Date nights do not have to be expensive. Be creative and make it enjoyable.
Practice serving one another. During dating most people do what they can to serve each other. Find out what pleases your mate, what says, "I truly love you." And do it. Some like flowers and gifts; others enjoy spending time together or working on projects together. Being attentive to each other's needs strengthens a relationship. A willingness to serve your mate is a powerful component of a thriving, lasting relationship.
Although children are gifts from God, don't allow them to become the center of your world. One day they will grow up and be on their own. Then you will be just a couple again. If you are continually growing, building memories, and flexing in the transitions of life, your marriage relationship will remain close. So, being just a couple again is positive and exciting. A new phase of life together begins to blossom!

Practical Hints: Dating and Relating:

• Determine to slow down.
• Prioritize time together for the things that really matter.
• Learn to budget time and finances.
Practice sitting close together when possible (watching television, at the theater, etc.).
• When you pass one another, make eye contact and tenderly touch or embrace.
• Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath.
• Take walks together.
• Give your partner a back rub or foot massage.
• Find activities you mutually enjoy and do them (hobbies, exercise, projects, etc.).
• Relax and listen to music together.
• Plan special surprise evenings that you know your spouse will enjoy.
• When you're together, find out what's on your spouse's mind (his/her dreams, goals, desires).
• Send a note or card expressing encouraging words from your heart.
• Find a special restaurant or a favorite place you both enjoy visiting.
• If you have small children, don't forget that time alone for the two of you is good for them, too.
• Occasionally, give meaningful gifts your spouse will enjoy.
• Strive to understand, instead of always giving your opinion or speaking your mind.
• Occasionally, gently hold one another while talking.
• Don't use your date nights as times to resolve conflicts, but for fun and refreshment.

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